BE Still Heather

School has just started and I'm not exactly where I thought I would be right now.  I had hoped to get a teaching position at one of the nearby schools.  I was a teacher for 12 years and then stayed home with my children for the last 9 years.   Last year both of my kids started school and I truly felt like the Lord was telling me to get myself back in the classroom. I know my checkbook was telling me it was time.  I began praying that the Lord would place me where He wanted me to be this fall. I asked for the Lord give me something that would not just be a good fit for me, but also for my family. I went ahead and subbed in the local schools, updated my teaching certification, applied for dozens of teaching positions in the area.  I even was called to interview for one.  In an area where there are 100's of applicants for each teaching position I knew my chances were slim, but I was hopeful. Plus, didn't the Lord tell me to go back to the classroom? I felt sure He did, but in my old age I have come to recognize that sometimes it's not about the finish line, but more about the journey.

I'm not sure the reason, and I might never know, but currently the Lord does not want me to be a full time teacher. I know this because I know God and what He can do.  I did all I could on my end, re-certification, substitute teaching in schools I was interested in.  applying for open positions, sending emails and resumés to principals, and prayer, lots of prayer.  The Lord did not provide the teaching position for ME.  Someone else has it, and I wish them the best.  My controlling personality has settled down quite a bit from years ago.  I am content in knowing that the Lord has me where He wants me. I want Him to show me what He wants next for me & for my family. I know He always gives His best. It's really hard because when you aren't where you think you should be it's really easy to believe the lies of the enemy.  in a 3 minute conversation, okay, perhaps more of a whining session than a conversation, I shared with Craig my disappointment, I confessed that I thought I was a loser, an awful wife and mother, no one wanted to be my friend, and,  I might as well throw this in there too, no fashion sense whatsoever. Craig reminded me that my feelings of rejection were focused on me instead of looking to the Lord and who He is.   The truth is the road we walk is full of stumbling places and if I don't keep myself in check I find myself flat on my bottom in minutes.

Here I am still trying. I'm still hoping for a teaching position.  I've subbed some more this year and I am even more convinced of my love for teaching and students. I'm not sure the Lord will bless me with more than a handful of teaching opportunities in the classroom this year, and being in the waiting place is hard...I have to think hard about purpose in the middle place.  One would think that after all these years I would have mastered the waiting place.  I waited a long time to meet and marry my husband. I've waited for jobs, children, and direction. Again, I'm reminded that God calls us to very simple things in obedience to Him.

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what doe the Lord require of you, 

but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God. 

Micah 6:8

It's really important to me that I pray with my children about these things (& many other things too). It was good for them to hear that the Lord did answer our prayers. He answered them with a no & we will trust in Him because He is trustworthy. He is faithful!
We hold on to truths in Jeremiah 29:11-13

For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 

In the summer of 2000 I was finishing up graduate school. I had taught elementary school in Miami (my hometown) for 5 years and I wanted to get my Master's degree. I returned to my alma mater in South Carolina. I had been interviewing for jobs in the local area with no teaching offers. I remember talking to one of my professors and wondering why I hadn't been hired.  While turning in my final exam in my last class the professor, who was just there to teach that one class, asked me what my plans for the fall were. When I told her I wasn't sure she asked me to apply to the school she was affiliated with.  It was in another state.  A state that wasn't even on my radar let alone on my list and sure enough that is where the Lord had me teach.  I moved to a place where I didn't know a soul in the entire state and began teaching. It was wonderful.  I felt like the Lord had given me a gift with a big silver bow attached.  Two years later I met my husband...eventually we had two children, and here is my life.  It was NEVER my plan to come here, but I was ready to follow Him where He would take me because God always gives me His best.

Last spring I went to a jewelry party and bought this bracelet.  It reminds me what I need to remember on daily basis as God is working out His best plan in my life.  His best for me & my family.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

I'm not where I thought I would be, but I'm right where I should be. 

Be still, Heather!