The Roller Coaster called Trust

My Abigail Sunshine had her last day of Kindergarten last week.
 I know it's just Kindergarten...we have many milestones to go, be we've passed so many already.  I can go all the way back to her birth & write in detail about so many special moments, but for the sake of time, laundry, eye strain, & perhaps carpel tunnel syndrome I will refrain.

Abigail started going to a 2 day a week Mother's Day Out program at a local church 2 weeks after she turned 2 years old (That's a lot of 2s). Katelyn was 4 months old & I felt Abigail needed some time at school & I needed some time one on one with Katie Bug. Abigail has always been a social butterfly. She's great at making friends, and has loved a good party since she was 4 months old & passed around at my annual Ladies Ornament Exchange.

I knew she'd love preschool...but was I ready? She was my baby who grew up over night once I gave birth to her sister. What if she got lost? What if she didn't know which class was hers? What if she didn't want to eat her lunch? What if someone else tried to pick her up in carpool? Why was a 2 year old in carpool? Incidentally, I was so glad our preschool had carpool. It was so much easier than getting the baby in & out of the car for pick up & drop off for Abigail. If you can find a Mother's Day Out program with carpool I highly recommend it!

The first day of course I walked her in to the lobby. All of these little cutie-patooties are grouped with their teachers.  The 2 year olds start off learning to walk in the halls by all of them holding on to the same rope in a line.  I watched Abigail's teacher say to the class (6 kids) "Ok, grab the rope" Abigail looked up at me with her big brown eyes, & I could just tell from her expression she was thinking "What's a rope?" or it could have been "Are you MAD woman!"

Needless to say, she didn't grab the rope, she didn't follow along, she didn't go to the classroom. Instead she tried out each child sized couch & recliner in the lobby as if she were Goldilocks.  This one is too soft, this one is too hard, this one is juuuust right, Mama. Let's stay here today. Finally, after all the sitting, & then some jumping around, dancing, and maybe some crying (that was me, ha-ha!) Abigail allowed me to walk her into class.
And she LOVED school. I am so thankful for that. As a former teacher it was so important to me for her to have a positive first school experience. Abigail still loves school. She loves her teachers, her friends, she loves to learn.

Abigail continued to attend the same wonderful Mother's Day Out program for the next 3 years, we added a day per week for each year. So, at 3 years old she did 3 days a week, 4 years old, 4 days a week, etc. We chose to enroll her in the half day kindergarten there as well and planned on her attending full day Kindergarten the following year at our local public school. She has had awesome teachers that loved their students & God.

Katelyn, also known as "Little Miss Red" joined her sister 2 days a week when Abigail started the 4 year old program. I was almost giddy with excitement. I know some moms would mourn the fact that their youngest was going off to preschool. I'm not really a cold hearted snake, it was just 8 hours a week. 8 hours to myself, 8 hours to clean the kitchen without someone grabbing my leg, 8 hours to grocery shop, though we know the employees at Publix didn't appreciate me showing up alone & trying to get a free cookie (just joking about the free cookie part, but they sure did love on my kids), 8 hours to take a shower without interruption, Incidentally, we knew Abigail was a child prodigy when at age 2 she looked up at me while I was taking a shower, pointed at my chest & counted "one, two" Genius, I tell  you! These 8 hours would be huge in my life. It was the first time in 4 years I could go to the gynecologist without little frightened faces looking out from the double stroller wondering what was happening to mommy & why were her legs in the air! Yes, Mother's Day Out gave me a moment to breathe.

So, over a year ago, Abigail's time at her precious preschool, with her sweet friends, & loving teachers came to an end. And again I wasn't sad. I know Abigail is growing up faster than I could imagine. I consider it a gift to watch her grow. Each stage has been a blessing, from the day she was born & I marveled at the way God gave her the instinct to nurse to watching her now read books on her own. It's been a blessing watching her character & personality grow. It brings joy to my heart & happy tears to my eyes.

Craig & I spend lots of time in prayer over our children. Last summer we particularly were praying for Abigail & her new school, new teacher, new friends, & new things to learn. I taught for 12 years as an elementary teacher in private Christian schools & I was mindful of my daughter's school experience. We knew we were in a good school system, everyone raved about it, but we had no personal experience there. In the spring we took a tour with other pre-schoolers and their  parents. Abigail was able to see her new school, the Kindergarten classrooms with a READING LOFT! She visited the gym, the library, the Art room, The Music room, The computer lab, & she was even able to purchase a school lunch & eat in the cafeteria with her friends. Abigail was excited about her new school & we were excited for her!

The week before school started we attended "Meet the Teacher" where we took tons of photos, & practiced walking to her classroom. Abigail's teacher was wonderful, and throughout the year proved over & over again how she was the perfect teacher for Abigail & for her mommy.

The following Monday was the first day of school...  I remember dropping her off & watching her walk away with part of my heart, in to the big building. Yes, I wrote "dropping her off"  & it about broke my heart and frazzled my nerves to do it, but the Principal had asked for our trust & we were strongly encouraged to not walk our children in, but to allow them to experience the first day as they would each day. So, my independent,  my Sunshine, my friend maker, my lover of people, learning,  family, & God, my first born started her first day of school & I met up with a bunch of Mommy's for a "Boo-Hoo/Yahoo!" Breakfast. Which ever your persuasion may be. 

As I walked in to our home I became overwhelmed with the thought that my daughter was at  "Big School", and I wasn't there to protect her, what if she got scared, lost, hurt, what if someone was mean to her. There was a bunch of what-ifs that I was about to take down the crazy-train of my thoughts. My nights of watching Dateline, my "worst case scenarios" swirling in the mind were invading my truth, my peace. The Lord, who is rich in His mercy with the big stuff & the little stuff interrupted my thoughts. He plainly said to me "Do you trust me?" This clear thought from the Lord stopped me in my tracks. God, my maker, Abigail's maker was reassuring me, "Heather, believe it or not I love Abigail more than you do. Trust me! You are not with her right now, but I am always with her". So I responded, "Yes, Lord, I trust you!" and so the year went. Trusting, praying, watching Abigail grow. It was like a roller coaster. Twists, turns,  highs, lows, but mostly delightful, thrilling, a smile making, faith growing year.

So, as we begin this summer...look forward to the next school year, LORD WE TRUST YOU!
Our whole lives seem like one big thrilling roller coaster ride! LORD WE TRUST YOU!

Abigail (R) & her best friend after the first day of Kindergarten.
She is wearing a birthday crown from her teacher because her birthday was just 2 days before.