Jeopardy at the dentist...

A few weeks ago a filling broke off in my mouth. It didn't hurt & with the whole PINK EYE thing I decided to put off making an appointment with my dentist. So, I finally got an appointment to see the doctor on Monday afternoon. A friend of mine took my girls to the pool. Seriously, again, I'd be pulling my hair out if I had to take my girls to the dentist with me for this. I've actually done it before, but that was when they were in a stroller and my appointment could be as long as the bag of cheerios I packed lasted. Craziness!

I arrive at the dentist office and spend just a few minutes in the waiting room before they call me back. The hygienist takes an X-ray and tells me the doctor will be in to see me in a few minutes. She hands me a remote to the TV that is attached above my chair and tells me to pick anything I want to see. Daytime TV is lacking to me, especially at 2:00pm. Don't get me wrong. I love me some Judge Judy every once in a while, but we all know she doesn't come on until 4:00. I start scrolling through the channels and find an old Law & Order that had just started. I haven't watched this in years and figure it will be good even though I'm sure I won't finish it. After all the dentist is only going to be a few minutes. All right, Lenny Briscoe, how are you processing the crime scene? How will S.Epatha Merkerson handle all of this?

And then I fall asleep.......

Yep, I've become the mother that only seems to rest when she goes to the dentist. I partially wake up a few times hoping my snoring is not heard over the drilling going on in the other rooms. That doesn't deter me though. I snuggle in my yellow chair that looks like a giant banana and snooze away...
The hygienist comes in a few times to check on me. She lets me know that the dentist is sorry, but he is running behind & I wave her away with my eyes closed & tell her I'm fine.
Then I have a moment of clarity in my partial sleep. I'm napping in a public place! So, I pull myself together, open my eyes and focus. Law & Order is over...
I focus again...I'm wearing two different shoes. Really?!?!?
Sigh
I begin scrolling through the channels again and decide on an episode of Jeopardy.

Jeopardy is the perfect game to watch while you are in the dentist chair because if you can't hear Alex Trabek over the noise you can at least read the questions. Who cares if you can't hear the answers. I'm sure you are getting them all right anyway. Well, it would be the perfect game if your dentist wasn't trying to yell out the answers in the form of questions while he drilled away at your tooth. The thing is I think he's trying to be funny because most of his answers are wrong and I start to giggle. Not the best thing with a piece of dental equipment whirling around in your mouth.
In the midst of all of this "Play that Funky Music White Boy" is playing in the background at the office, and a discussion concerning who sang this song ensues...It was Wild Cherry. I know because I looked it up on my iphone in the middle of the office visit.
I really like my dentist. He is good at what he does and always keeps it interesting.

While I rinse in front of the mirror I notice my numb mouth is pulling down on one side. I know it always FEELS like that when your mouth has been numbed, but since this was the upper gums that were numbed I ask the dentist about it. He tells me that it's typical. In keeping with the light humor of the afternoon I proceed to smile and frown at the same time and ask him if that is typical too. HA! I AM SO FUNNY!
Smile and frown at the same time you may ask. Is that even possible? Why, yes, yes it is! For some reason in Jr. High School I thought it would be cool to smile and frown at the same time. It took me a week to train my lips to be able to do this. I was a dedicated 7th grader. It's ok, I know you are trying to do this yourself right now. Give it at least a week...unless perhaps you are gifted in the facial expression arts.

On my way home from the dentist I stop at Walmart to purchase a few things before I pick up my girls.
I was looking for a Jimmy Buffett CD as a Father's Day gift for Craig because he's a Parrot Head at heart and we also needed some bananas for breakfast. Don't worry I didn't give away one of his gifts. I couldn't find the CD.  If you saw me at Walmart and I appeared to be walking funny, don't be alarmed. It was just that my two different shoes had different wear on the tread and caused me to be a little off balance. No need for wisecracks here!
I get to the register and the cashier rings up my bananas for a whopping total of $1.62. I'm pretty sure she's never had a sale that small and I know I have never paid any less at Walmart. So, the cashier asks me if bananas is all I needed. I tell her "no, I was also looking for a Jimmy Buffett CD for my husband for Father's Day". My speech is slurred & perhaps I drooled. I know I sound like I have snuff packed in to my cheek. The cashier just looks at me, so while I am paying my $1.62 in exact change, I explain that I've been to the dentist. Again, she hardly understands me, and for some reason I want her to know I have not been drinking (yet), so I repeat over and over again the whole thing about Jimmy Buffett and being at the dentist. Finally I decide it's just best to take my bananas and run.

 It may have sounded like a typical to you, and it probably was, but a long time ago I decided to take note and find humor in the little things. And so that was my Monday...and to think I didn't bring the girls along because I thought they would have made it crazy.