To be the girl on the swings again

Last weekend we traveled to my husband's hometown for the National Peanut Festival. The festival is a pretty big deal with concerts and fair rides, pageants, contests, and a parade. The festival is about 2 weeks long with a parade the last Saturday of the festival.

The parade has a gazillion floats and quite a few marching bands. This year the Budweiser Clydesdales were there along with the Wells Fargo Coach & many other beautiful horses.  Since peanuts are a local agricultural crop many pieces of farming equipment from the past & present are represented in the parade, & the men & women of the military marching by brings you to your feet with a lump in your throat, but the highlight of the entire parade is when the cement truck comes rolling down the street kicking off the parade. In it's wake it leaves a trail of roasted peanuts for everyone to run out into the street & gather into their bags. Think pinata without the candy & prizes. Once you get over the fact that the peanuts were in a cement truck & then scooped up from the road you get to crackin' the shells & enjoy their deliciousness. I can imagine those with allergies go out of town that day because there is a haze of that thin peanut paper skin from underneath the shell floating in the air.

After all of that fun comes the one of the two local high school's marching band, followed by the clydesdales (so glad those big bad boys come AFTER the peanuts). and then lots of floats with crowned beauties with titles like Miss Peanut Festival of the Land, Little Miss Peanut Festival of the Land, Miss Teen Peanut Festival of the Land, Ms. Senior Citizen Peanut Festival of the Land.

Mr. Peanut even makes an appearance....looking dapper as always.

The parade really is a lot of fun, but the real fun is to be had at the fair. The festival is a giant fair with blue ribbon recipes, art projects, animals, & a big midway. This was the first time my girls really got to enjoy it. 

Watching them have fun was even more enjoyable then riding the rides myself. 

My Sunshine tries almost everything & has never shown a lot of fear. She rode everything with reckless abandon. Her favorite was the giant swings. She rode them 7 times in a row and would have kept going had I not had her move on. The swings were my favorite as a child too. I remember soaring over the fair, being able to see for miles. I decided I would ride the first time with her. After all she may need a reassuring smile or word from my swing. 

HA! She didn't need me! I on the other hand was a mess. Every tilt of the swing had me holding on tighter, eyes shut tight, praying "Lord, please let me live! Please let the chain hold! Lord, please spare me!"

To be honest I was shocked & appalled, & a little embarrassed by my behavior...by my thoughts. Every few seconds I would try to relax & enjoy the sensation of flying & then the chain would drop & I'd hold on tight (not that that would save me anyway).

So, the last 6 rides, she rode alone, hands outstretched, smile on her face, enjoying every moment of gliding through the air. 

As I sat on the ground I wondered, where did the girl go that enjoyed the moment? When did I replace the thrill of adventure with such fear? It didn't help my nervousness that I was getting a bit nauseous. Then I wondered why I never got sick as on these rides as a kid.  OK, there may have been one time at the Holy Rosary Carnival that I may or may not have lost it on some ride that just wouldn't stop. I was in middle school...no scars of embarrassment there. 

I think part of my fear just part of growing up, after all, more is at stake. I have more people I'm accountable to. I'm a wife, a mother now. It might be the years of watching 20/20 & Dateline.
To be honest I wasn't going to dwell too much on thinking about it. Instead I took joy in THAT moment.  Looking up at my daughter, flying through the air as she imagined she was Peter Pan. Her thrill & happiness took root in my heart as my joy!
I could have watched my daughter soar for hours!

My biggest fans....

So I know it's been a while...a long while. And I could dwell on the fact that I'm a slacker, or my time is gone, but I've just decided to move forward. I've had so many posts I've wanted to write over the last few months, but it just seems to get away from me...and really doesn't that seem to happen to us all?
It happens with friends old & new that you want to see, but days turn into weeks, turn into months, & you realize that it's been a year.
Time flies when you are having fun...when you are just busy, busy, busy....I feel like it's flying by...like I've lost a decade and here I am.
Inhale...Exhale...Tune in.
Sometimes I'm working so hard at making the memory with my girls I forget that simple things like walking through a parking lot hand in hand is the memory. I need to embrace it now. I'm not stating anything new, but this is my moment, my turning. Of course truth be told I've had those moments more than once. This holding on to the truly sacred, not wanting to trade the treasure I have in my family for the cheap & fleeting.
And here I go again down the guilty parent road, plagued with jarring pot holes of time wasted & children growing up faster than I can keep up.

So back to a few weeks ago when we headed to a local high school football game. It was a crazy afternoon. First, went to a birthday party of a good friend at Chuck E. Cheese.  Chuck E. Cheese can send me spiraling down the road of crazy at ridiculous speeds if it's crowded. Fortunately, my friend scheduled the party at a very tame time.  We practically had the place to ourselves & we all  had a great time. We left just after cake, because my girls are serious about their birthday cake consumption and headed to our next activity, High School Football game. Little Sunshine was going to be singing the national anthem with her school during half time. We showed up early for the meet & greet of the band members. The girls were excited & looking forward to seeing the marching band at halftime. Apparently the band was going to form the letters "M" & "O" for the school name.

As we were watching the band play & make formations  Little Red turned to me & asked "When are they going to spell out "MOM"?
My heart melted at that moment.  She didn't think the fanfare was all about the game or about the band, or even her sister singing with her school. The band was going to spell out MOM.
And why wouldn't they, after I'm a pretty big deal in her world. This thought stopped me in mental tracks.

I think about that when I feel like I'm failing...when I'm not doing enough. When I'm feeling ugly on the inside & out. The times I mess it up big time & I ask for forgiveness from my children.  Their love for me is true.  That's what I need to remember. Love abounds!
Now each time I see a band take up the field I'm pretty sure they'll be spelling out MOM before the show is over.

   Kent State University Marching Band Spelling out Mom & Pop. (1950s)
   Credit attributed to Kent State University Office of Public Relations

My Dearest Blog....

My Dearest Blog,
I'm writing you in this brief moment to say I've missed you. Since I've last written I've been on vacation, celebrated my anniversary, and have multitude of mundane happenings I've wanted to share with you, but haven't been able to sit down & concentrate on enough to finish a sentence.
I'm sure you are feeling neglected, feeling abandoned. I haven't forgotten you. I look forward to the day in the near future when we can meet again.
Until then...I leave you  with some thoughts & memories from the last few weeks.

Do not be alarmed by the giant hands in the tree...

I think I've stated before that this summer has been one of our busiest. I love all the post that remind me of the old "Country Time Lemonade" commercials where the lazy days of summer are spent drinking lemonade, running through fields of flowers, swinging on the front porch swing, & swimming in the Ye Ole Swimmin' Hole. The truth is...it's so hot. I don't want to leave my air conditioned house.

 I grew up in Miami. It's hot 360 days a year there. People are always reminding me, "Yes, but in Miami you have a breeze" true, but it's still hot, like your head has been unhinged at the top & heat has been poured in. One thing about Miami's summer is we schedule our rain almost daily between 3pm & 5pm, which cools off the evenings. Alabama has no such schedule. As the day wears on, the the temperature rises.
By 7 O'clock it's 95 degrees...in my living room. Ha!
So...summer is hot....winter is cold...wah-wah-wah.

School has been out over a month. Abigail has taken part in 5 Vacation Bible Schools. As suggested by my friend Linda we are thinking of making a quilt out of all of her free T-shirts.  I used to think I wouldn't be THAT parent sending their children off to all the VBS's available, but there are so many good ones, friends have invited us, & it reinforces our faith that we teach at home, so YES, I am THAT parent.
Katelyn has participated in 3 Vacation Bible Schools, 1 Art camp, & 2 weeks of swim lessons. This is actually the first week since the end of May that we have nothing structured planned. I've seen all kinds of posts about how we are over planning our summers, etc., but here, the days are long, VBS in the morning & free play in the afternoon through early evening is the best things for us. There is something to be said for adding structure to your free time to keep sanity in the home.

A few weeks ago was Father's Day. The girls were so excited. Earlier that week my friend Amy, & her two girls Caroline & Emma Kate came over to work on a Father's Day craft. Amy and I have fun together no matter what we are up to. We can be browsing Walmart & be amused. We are also good at solving mysteries like, where does this string wrapped around the inside of the house lead to, or how many days this summer could we feed our kids pizza before they protest. or, how can we count this trip to Sweet Frog Yogurt as dinner so we don't have to cook. So, first we went to her house to eat dinner, because there was no food at my house. Usually I cook each night, but this summer has had us at the pool quite a bit & for some reason dinner has taken me by surprise. Dinner at Amy's was delicious Italian beef sliders. Afterward I craved them for a week until I had to make them myself.

 
Recipe:
2-3lb beef roast
1 jar sliced pepperoncini peppers
onions
2 packets McCormick Au Jus
Italian Seasoning
Slider buns
Sliced Provolone or Munster Cheese (optional)

Place beef in slow cooker
2 packets of Au Jus
1 cup cold water
Drain & reserve juice from peppers
Add drained peppers
For the spicier version add 1/2 a cup to 1 cup of reserved pepper juice (1 cup was too spicy for my kids)
Or add none of the reserved pepper juice for a very mild version.
Place onion rings on top
Sprinkle with Italian Seasoning
Cook for 5-6 hours on low in slow cooker.
Remove meat & shred.
Test gravy to make sure the heat is good for your family.
Add some of the juice back to meat in a separate bowl
You can mix in the peppers & onions to the meat or serve them separately.
Place on slider buns & top with cheese if desired.

After dinner we headed over to my house to make the Father's Day Craft. Have you noticed most children's crafts involve a handprint or foot print. No more faking it & pretending your kid did it....they must at least get an appendage painted & memorialized on canvas.  We made trees with the girls hand prints, which was really cute if you can get past the fact that giant hands are growing out of the trees. Then we reworked a poem we found on the internet to make it more personal to our girls. The sweet thing is that our girls loved giving something special to their daddy, & Craig loved this much more than the Jimmy Buffett CD (I did eventually get him) & the polo shirts we ordered from Land's End because the last time he got new ones was before we had children & no matter how much he insists they are fine I'm drawing the line!
 He hung the picture next to his bed, where I'm sure he will gaze at it & have sweet dreams instead of nightmares of huge hands impaled by trees grabbing him in the middle of the night.
Pleasant dreams, Sweetie!
Here is ours:

Next week promises to be equally exciting.
Abigail has a check up
and I might cook dinner......

Sometimes it just takes a little thing to be a big thing...

As I've said summer has been extremely busy. I know it's that way for most families, but I think we are disallusioned into thinking it will be less busy than the school year and when it isn't we are shocked. It throws me off kilter and I need to find my new normal schedule for the next 2.5 months.

Dinners have been lacking quite a bit at our house. I love to cook and usually cook dinner for my family each night, or at least serve a delicious combination of left overs & a fresh can of green beans on alternate nights. This summer my children have had McDonnald's twice (more than times than we've had the rest of the year) & Little Caesar's more than I care to admit. We've also had quite a few meals on a picnic blanket in the living room. Another area I've had not found my groove in yet is grocery shopping. Last school year I shopped on Friday mornings after dropping Katelyn off at preschool. No kids are a breeze, one kid is a teaching opportunity, two or more kids is survival!  

Last Friday I found myself at Publix with my girls as we were getting ready to have three other families join us for supper club at our house. The theme was Latin America and we were grilling chicken, making black beans and rice, and Maduros (sweet plantains). It was fun to plan and I enjoyed listening to my Best of Gloria Estefan CD in preparation.  Not only did I have a lot of cooking to do, I had to brush up on my Conga line moves and I had to clean my house. When some people say they have to clean their house they mean sweep, dust, vacuum. I mean clean, pick up and put away, declutter, and shove in a closet. My home used to be decorated in Early Fischer-Price, but as the girls grew older we've included more pieces of post modern Disney Princess. I am fortunate to have a husband that steps in and helps get everything ready in times like this. 

It was a typical shopping trip with kids, go get a cookie at the bakery, see if Ms. Monica is in the deli giving out samples of popcorn chicken, exam ALL of the fruit for the best pieces & no squishies. With all we had to do in the next 24 hours I was frazzled and my patience was thin. I'm sure I snapped at the girls. I'm sure I mentally grumbled at the slow people in front of me. I'm sure I didn't smile. 

Then we went to pay for our groceries. I noticed a young couple in front of me. She was beautiful, I mean really radiant and expecting a baby. I think I smiled a little as I watched them and thought, their life was about to change (I was assuming this was their first, but could be wrong). She smiled at me a little too. As they were walking away and I went up to pay  and the cashier handed me a bouquet of flowers and said they were compliments of the couple in front of me.

I was overwhelmed! I called to them as they walked out of the store "THANK YOU! THANK YOU!" It was extremely sweet, thoughtful, and blessed my day. How incredibly mood changing their act of kindness was for me. My kids even asked for candy at the checkout and I told them yes! I never do that!
I was delighted! My girls were delighted. t was such a beautiful act of kindness. I had happy tears.  The girls and I have often brought baked goods to people in stores we frequent or other places we can share, but this was totally random. I loved it! And I can't wait to surprise someone soon with the same blessing. Like I said...Sometimes it just takes a little thing to be a big thing in someone's life. Pass it on!

Because I just can't leave well enough alone...

Yep, that's me.  There are many times I need to quit while I'm ahead...just leave well enough alone. Maybe you don't have that issue, but I do. It's that moment you are working on a project & you have an idea that will JUST MAKE IT EVEN BETTER & you overextend yourself. Your new idea only adds 6 hours to your completion time, or add too much of a spice to a recipe, or one more stud on the denim jacket you are "bedazzling", totally joking on that last one, but I wanted to see if you were still paying attention.

Now sometimes it's a good thing.  I enjoy cooking. I enjoy creating. I am NOT good at following a recipe. I use recipes as guidelines, suggestions, but not to be followed to a T. When cooking I often throw all caution to the wind, invite guests over for dinner & tweak my "culinary masterpieces" as the first unsuspecting guest arrives. After all, pizza is only a phone call away.

This is where my husband and I differ. While Craig and I were engaged he was cooking a meal for me. This one involved tater tots. To give him credit he has made me quite of few gourmet meals in the past, but not that night. That night it was tater tots. I watched him as he placed each tot on the cookie sheet, all spaced out evenly, lined up in a row. I half expected him to take out a ruler to measure that they were 2 inches apart.. I mean seriously, what was going on here? Was I about to marry a guy like the one from "Sleeping with the Enemy"? Because if Craig was going to be very particular about the placement of his tater tots he was going to be sorely disappointed with the woman he was about to vow before God, family, and friends to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, in sound mind and the crazies. What, that's not how your vows were written? It turns out Craig was just following the directions on the tater tots package because he's good at following a recipe. He sees them as a way to have a good outcome and a positive dining experience. Ore-Rida then!

Recently a sweet friend had surgery and a couple of us from church signed up to bring her family a meal. That's what you do...medical procedure, we'll bring you a meal, new baby, we'll bring you a meal, you are moving to a new house, we'll bring you a meal, grieving, we'll bring you a meal. It may seem silly to some. It's just food, but when things are stressful, or hard, or extra busy not having to think about how you will feed your family is a blessing. I always tell my girls that we make meals for others because it's something that we know we can do to help someone out. When my daughter Katelyn was born friends brought me meals a couple of times a week for almost 6 weeks. It was so nice to not have to think about dinner while trying to wrangle a new born & a one year old.

Anyway, back to my friend and the meal. My friend Alison and I decided we would do this meal together, because there were only two slots to sign up and more than two people wanted to bring a meal. Alison took care of the main dish, while I told her I would take care of the salad, bread and a dessert. Easy-peasy, I picked up a yummy caesar salad in a bag (no shame here) and doctored up a loaf of pillsbury refrigerated dough french bread to bake mozzarella garlic bread. Now it was time for dessert. Desserts are not my thing. I know some people that make elaborate desserts that are practically works of art. I'm pretty basic. I found a box of brownie mix in our pantry, I checked to make sure it hadn't expired, and thought what can make from this, besides the obvious of course. These brownie would have been delicious made as is. Put a half gallon of ice cream with them and you have a party, but like I said, I can't just leave well enough alone.

 In the old days, like 1995, I would have perused a cookbook or cooking magazine. Maybe I would clip something that looked tasty to make for later. Now, what do I do? Pinterest, of course! Pinterest doesn't get me all up in a tizzy like I hear it does some people. It's more like a recipe for me and I just use it as a guideline, suggestions, etc. I pin all kinds of things to my Pinterest board and take the ideas I can reasonably use and use them when I need to. Again, tweaking what I can do and not do as I go along. I found ALL kinds of delicious brownie recipes, but the one with the toasted marshmallows on top caught my eye (and my taste buds). Of course I tweaked it. Instead of a graham cracker crust I went along with crushed pretzels, butter, and a sprinkling of sugar for the crust. I had  to watch them like a hawk while I was broiling the marshmallow tops because fires in the kitchen are not my friend.

Oh my sweet goodness. These were the best thing I had ever baked. The salty of the pretzel mixed with the fudgy brownie, and then the gooey, springy marshmallow topping. I'm drooling on my keyboard now as I type. They turned out so good that I baked one for my friend that we were taking a meal to, and another bigger one to share with friends. I carried that 9X13 with me everywhere that evening. We were meeting up at the church for the girls to have pizza with friends, 6 brownies gone. We offered some to police officers, 2 more gone. I met friends for dinner. More gone.  I offered one to anyone I knew and some people I didn't. Each person smiled and enjoyed their brownie. It was a small thing, but enjoyed by many.
So, I guess this time it was best that I didn't leave well enough alone.
We are headed to swim lessons in 30 minutes. If I see you there I will offer you the remainder of what is left of my new sweet treat. I call it "Brownies with a twist"

Recipe

Just to be used as a guideline of course

Ingredients:  

Brownie mix of your choice

Salted pretzels (for obvious reasons I used twists)

1 stick of butter

1 bag of marshmallows

1/2 Cup Semi-sweet chocolate chip (optional, but really, really good)

1 Tbs sugar

Grease bottom of brownie pan

Crush salted pretzels into itty-bitty pieces

Pour melted stick of butter on pretzels

Sprinkle sugar on pretzels

Mash this mixture with a back of a fork into pan

Prepare brownie mix according to package directions

Pour over pretzel layer

Sprinkle some chocolate chips over batter

Bake according to brownie mix directions

As soon as they are done press marshmallows into warm brownies

Put the pan back in the oven 5-6 inches under broiler

Broil for 1 minute, but watch it closely, rotate pan as the marshmallows brown

Take them out if they start to smoke, this dish is not brownie flambe'.

Jeopardy at the dentist...

A few weeks ago a filling broke off in my mouth. It didn't hurt & with the whole PINK EYE thing I decided to put off making an appointment with my dentist. So, I finally got an appointment to see the doctor on Monday afternoon. A friend of mine took my girls to the pool. Seriously, again, I'd be pulling my hair out if I had to take my girls to the dentist with me for this. I've actually done it before, but that was when they were in a stroller and my appointment could be as long as the bag of cheerios I packed lasted. Craziness!

I arrive at the dentist office and spend just a few minutes in the waiting room before they call me back. The hygienist takes an X-ray and tells me the doctor will be in to see me in a few minutes. She hands me a remote to the TV that is attached above my chair and tells me to pick anything I want to see. Daytime TV is lacking to me, especially at 2:00pm. Don't get me wrong. I love me some Judge Judy every once in a while, but we all know she doesn't come on until 4:00. I start scrolling through the channels and find an old Law & Order that had just started. I haven't watched this in years and figure it will be good even though I'm sure I won't finish it. After all the dentist is only going to be a few minutes. All right, Lenny Briscoe, how are you processing the crime scene? How will S.Epatha Merkerson handle all of this?

And then I fall asleep.......

Yep, I've become the mother that only seems to rest when she goes to the dentist. I partially wake up a few times hoping my snoring is not heard over the drilling going on in the other rooms. That doesn't deter me though. I snuggle in my yellow chair that looks like a giant banana and snooze away...
The hygienist comes in a few times to check on me. She lets me know that the dentist is sorry, but he is running behind & I wave her away with my eyes closed & tell her I'm fine.
Then I have a moment of clarity in my partial sleep. I'm napping in a public place! So, I pull myself together, open my eyes and focus. Law & Order is over...
I focus again...I'm wearing two different shoes. Really?!?!?
Sigh
I begin scrolling through the channels again and decide on an episode of Jeopardy.

Jeopardy is the perfect game to watch while you are in the dentist chair because if you can't hear Alex Trabek over the noise you can at least read the questions. Who cares if you can't hear the answers. I'm sure you are getting them all right anyway. Well, it would be the perfect game if your dentist wasn't trying to yell out the answers in the form of questions while he drilled away at your tooth. The thing is I think he's trying to be funny because most of his answers are wrong and I start to giggle. Not the best thing with a piece of dental equipment whirling around in your mouth.
In the midst of all of this "Play that Funky Music White Boy" is playing in the background at the office, and a discussion concerning who sang this song ensues...It was Wild Cherry. I know because I looked it up on my iphone in the middle of the office visit.
I really like my dentist. He is good at what he does and always keeps it interesting.

While I rinse in front of the mirror I notice my numb mouth is pulling down on one side. I know it always FEELS like that when your mouth has been numbed, but since this was the upper gums that were numbed I ask the dentist about it. He tells me that it's typical. In keeping with the light humor of the afternoon I proceed to smile and frown at the same time and ask him if that is typical too. HA! I AM SO FUNNY!
Smile and frown at the same time you may ask. Is that even possible? Why, yes, yes it is! For some reason in Jr. High School I thought it would be cool to smile and frown at the same time. It took me a week to train my lips to be able to do this. I was a dedicated 7th grader. It's ok, I know you are trying to do this yourself right now. Give it at least a week...unless perhaps you are gifted in the facial expression arts.

On my way home from the dentist I stop at Walmart to purchase a few things before I pick up my girls.
I was looking for a Jimmy Buffett CD as a Father's Day gift for Craig because he's a Parrot Head at heart and we also needed some bananas for breakfast. Don't worry I didn't give away one of his gifts. I couldn't find the CD.  If you saw me at Walmart and I appeared to be walking funny, don't be alarmed. It was just that my two different shoes had different wear on the tread and caused me to be a little off balance. No need for wisecracks here!
I get to the register and the cashier rings up my bananas for a whopping total of $1.62. I'm pretty sure she's never had a sale that small and I know I have never paid any less at Walmart. So, the cashier asks me if bananas is all I needed. I tell her "no, I was also looking for a Jimmy Buffett CD for my husband for Father's Day". My speech is slurred & perhaps I drooled. I know I sound like I have snuff packed in to my cheek. The cashier just looks at me, so while I am paying my $1.62 in exact change, I explain that I've been to the dentist. Again, she hardly understands me, and for some reason I want her to know I have not been drinking (yet), so I repeat over and over again the whole thing about Jimmy Buffett and being at the dentist. Finally I decide it's just best to take my bananas and run.

 It may have sounded like a typical to you, and it probably was, but a long time ago I decided to take note and find humor in the little things. And so that was my Monday...and to think I didn't bring the girls along because I thought they would have made it crazy.

No more lazy days of summer...

Oh my, what happened to the lazy days of summer. Seriously, I can't tell which is busier, the school year or summer. We have been out of school less than 2 weeks & I feel like I can't catch up with my life. 

Monday morning Craig's car wouldn't start. He tries to jump it with the jumper cables, but no luck, & time is ticking so we decide to try a new battery when he gets home that evening. I make arrangements to drop Abigail at a friend's house so they can take her to VBS. Katelyn & I will then take Craig to work. On the way I talk to the doctor about a betadine wash because I am still plagued by THE PINK EYE (ALL CAPS now because I respect more than I ever had hoped to). I then make arrangements for someone to care for the girls while I go in for said wash. This is with all the other pick up, drop offs, plans with other mommies & me. In a naive yet full of myself moment I think "Us mommies, we get the job the done!" I almost start to pat myself on the back when I feel like the Lord gently puts his arm around me & says. "Heather, Craig is hard at work all day so you are able to stay home & have the time to coordinate plans." So thankful for the Lord's quick correction in my attitude. I am immediately reminded that we are a team & neither one of us could do it without the other.

After dropping Craig off at work, Katelyn & I head to her swim lessons. Katelyn's swim teacher is known as "The Swim Nazi". Seriously, that's what she calls herself. I heard of her years ago & was actually offended at the name, but I also heard she was a great teacher that got results. The other name she goes by is Miss Lynn, which is what I've instructed Katelyn to call her. Katelyn has already had 2 years of swim lessons with "The Swim Pushover" & she was still wearing a floatie...And Katelyn would wear that floatie until she was 27 if it would fit her. She doesn't care. She can "swim" all around the pool with it on...face in the water...she's a mermaid with a floatie.. I told Miss Lynn that Katelyn lacked confidence in her abilities & had a very strong will. Good luck with her Miss Lynn. We will be praying for you & of course for Katelyn as she builds her confidence, trusts the truths of what is happening & sheds her "puddle jumper".

After lunch I drop the girls off with a friend & head to the optometrist's office. THE PINK EYE had been better over the weekend with the use of a steroid drop, but was getting worse again. My best option was to have a betadine wash to kill the virus. The doctor numbed my eyes quite a bit...to the point that I felt like my eyes had been to the dentist getting a filling. She then flushes them out with this betadine wash...I should be fine to drive home she says...fine is certainly a relative term...I guess she meant fine to drive home if I lived next door to the doctors office.  I can't be held accountable for anyone I winked at on the drive home...after all I couldn't feel a thing until I was half way home. As my numbness wears off of my eyes the pain grows more & more, and I finally make it home safely & figure the hard part is over, such a foolish thought.

My doctor warned me that I might be in some pain for 10-15 minutes...again I think her 10-15 minutes & my 10-15 minutes are actually different increments of time. I am sure I was in pain much longer. A lot of pain. Pain I could not escape. Closing my eyes didn't help, flushing them with water didn't help. lighting them on fire DID NOT HELP! (I would not recommend the latter). I then try to flush them with saline. Of course my saline is brand new & "sealed for my protection" & I can't see & cannot remove the super seal so in desperation I reach for my sewing scissors (nope, I don't sew) & cut the entire top off of the saline bottle, it sails through the air like a cork on a champagne bottle  & I manage to  pour it on my eyes, my head, shoulders, knees, & toes. While this is happening someone is continually texting me. I have no idea who.  I open my eyes enough to call my friend, Nancy, who is keeping my children & has taken them swimming with another friend. I eek out the following "Don't. bring. my. children. to me...." to which she responds "Is there anyway we can get you something for the pain?" I am pretty confident more words are spoken in between those two statements , but I cannot even begin to remember what they are. I've written quite a bit about community, but it's another example of how God provides through it. We are a team. Between Nancy & Alison, they have cared for my children, brought me pain relief, fed my children, & make plans for my children if they need to sleep over. I just had to utter those 5 words & those two had it under control. So thankful for friends that can see anticipate the need more than I can even know is there and act on it.  After a good nap, my eyes are better and are improving each day.

On Tuesday we had to have Craig's car towed to the mechanic. It turns out it was some security issue with the ignition not recognizing the key. The mechanic resets it & gives Craig instructions on how to fix it if it happens again. He is to Turn the key to the on position, count to 10, turn it off, while pumping the brake, in repetitions of 3 while whistling Dixie with his eyes crossed...or something like that. I was just glad his car is fixed & hope that doesn't happen again.

and so the week goes...Abigail LOVED VBS. Katelyn is liking swim lessons. My eyes feel like they can breathe again, & Craig is whistling Dixie as we enjoy the lazy days of summer. HA!

The Roller Coaster called Trust

My Abigail Sunshine had her last day of Kindergarten last week.
 I know it's just Kindergarten...we have many milestones to go, be we've passed so many already.  I can go all the way back to her birth & write in detail about so many special moments, but for the sake of time, laundry, eye strain, & perhaps carpel tunnel syndrome I will refrain.

Abigail started going to a 2 day a week Mother's Day Out program at a local church 2 weeks after she turned 2 years old (That's a lot of 2s). Katelyn was 4 months old & I felt Abigail needed some time at school & I needed some time one on one with Katie Bug. Abigail has always been a social butterfly. She's great at making friends, and has loved a good party since she was 4 months old & passed around at my annual Ladies Ornament Exchange.

I knew she'd love preschool...but was I ready? She was my baby who grew up over night once I gave birth to her sister. What if she got lost? What if she didn't know which class was hers? What if she didn't want to eat her lunch? What if someone else tried to pick her up in carpool? Why was a 2 year old in carpool? Incidentally, I was so glad our preschool had carpool. It was so much easier than getting the baby in & out of the car for pick up & drop off for Abigail. If you can find a Mother's Day Out program with carpool I highly recommend it!

The first day of course I walked her in to the lobby. All of these little cutie-patooties are grouped with their teachers.  The 2 year olds start off learning to walk in the halls by all of them holding on to the same rope in a line.  I watched Abigail's teacher say to the class (6 kids) "Ok, grab the rope" Abigail looked up at me with her big brown eyes, & I could just tell from her expression she was thinking "What's a rope?" or it could have been "Are you MAD woman!"

Needless to say, she didn't grab the rope, she didn't follow along, she didn't go to the classroom. Instead she tried out each child sized couch & recliner in the lobby as if she were Goldilocks.  This one is too soft, this one is too hard, this one is juuuust right, Mama. Let's stay here today. Finally, after all the sitting, & then some jumping around, dancing, and maybe some crying (that was me, ha-ha!) Abigail allowed me to walk her into class.
And she LOVED school. I am so thankful for that. As a former teacher it was so important to me for her to have a positive first school experience. Abigail still loves school. She loves her teachers, her friends, she loves to learn.

Abigail continued to attend the same wonderful Mother's Day Out program for the next 3 years, we added a day per week for each year. So, at 3 years old she did 3 days a week, 4 years old, 4 days a week, etc. We chose to enroll her in the half day kindergarten there as well and planned on her attending full day Kindergarten the following year at our local public school. She has had awesome teachers that loved their students & God.

Katelyn, also known as "Little Miss Red" joined her sister 2 days a week when Abigail started the 4 year old program. I was almost giddy with excitement. I know some moms would mourn the fact that their youngest was going off to preschool. I'm not really a cold hearted snake, it was just 8 hours a week. 8 hours to myself, 8 hours to clean the kitchen without someone grabbing my leg, 8 hours to grocery shop, though we know the employees at Publix didn't appreciate me showing up alone & trying to get a free cookie (just joking about the free cookie part, but they sure did love on my kids), 8 hours to take a shower without interruption, Incidentally, we knew Abigail was a child prodigy when at age 2 she looked up at me while I was taking a shower, pointed at my chest & counted "one, two" Genius, I tell  you! These 8 hours would be huge in my life. It was the first time in 4 years I could go to the gynecologist without little frightened faces looking out from the double stroller wondering what was happening to mommy & why were her legs in the air! Yes, Mother's Day Out gave me a moment to breathe.

So, over a year ago, Abigail's time at her precious preschool, with her sweet friends, & loving teachers came to an end. And again I wasn't sad. I know Abigail is growing up faster than I could imagine. I consider it a gift to watch her grow. Each stage has been a blessing, from the day she was born & I marveled at the way God gave her the instinct to nurse to watching her now read books on her own. It's been a blessing watching her character & personality grow. It brings joy to my heart & happy tears to my eyes.

Craig & I spend lots of time in prayer over our children. Last summer we particularly were praying for Abigail & her new school, new teacher, new friends, & new things to learn. I taught for 12 years as an elementary teacher in private Christian schools & I was mindful of my daughter's school experience. We knew we were in a good school system, everyone raved about it, but we had no personal experience there. In the spring we took a tour with other pre-schoolers and their  parents. Abigail was able to see her new school, the Kindergarten classrooms with a READING LOFT! She visited the gym, the library, the Art room, The Music room, The computer lab, & she was even able to purchase a school lunch & eat in the cafeteria with her friends. Abigail was excited about her new school & we were excited for her!

The week before school started we attended "Meet the Teacher" where we took tons of photos, & practiced walking to her classroom. Abigail's teacher was wonderful, and throughout the year proved over & over again how she was the perfect teacher for Abigail & for her mommy.

The following Monday was the first day of school...  I remember dropping her off & watching her walk away with part of my heart, in to the big building. Yes, I wrote "dropping her off"  & it about broke my heart and frazzled my nerves to do it, but the Principal had asked for our trust & we were strongly encouraged to not walk our children in, but to allow them to experience the first day as they would each day. So, my independent,  my Sunshine, my friend maker, my lover of people, learning,  family, & God, my first born started her first day of school & I met up with a bunch of Mommy's for a "Boo-Hoo/Yahoo!" Breakfast. Which ever your persuasion may be. 

As I walked in to our home I became overwhelmed with the thought that my daughter was at  "Big School", and I wasn't there to protect her, what if she got scared, lost, hurt, what if someone was mean to her. There was a bunch of what-ifs that I was about to take down the crazy-train of my thoughts. My nights of watching Dateline, my "worst case scenarios" swirling in the mind were invading my truth, my peace. The Lord, who is rich in His mercy with the big stuff & the little stuff interrupted my thoughts. He plainly said to me "Do you trust me?" This clear thought from the Lord stopped me in my tracks. God, my maker, Abigail's maker was reassuring me, "Heather, believe it or not I love Abigail more than you do. Trust me! You are not with her right now, but I am always with her". So I responded, "Yes, Lord, I trust you!" and so the year went. Trusting, praying, watching Abigail grow. It was like a roller coaster. Twists, turns,  highs, lows, but mostly delightful, thrilling, a smile making, faith growing year.

So, as we begin this summer...look forward to the next school year, LORD WE TRUST YOU!
Our whole lives seem like one big thrilling roller coaster ride! LORD WE TRUST YOU!

Abigail (R) & her best friend after the first day of Kindergarten.
She is wearing a birthday crown from her teacher because her birthday was just 2 days before. 

Please refrain from scratching your eyes out....a little perspectivehere

OH. MY. LOVING. GOODNESS! I have pink-eye!!!! (So please excuse the typos)
There are so many posts that I've wanted to write this week, but have been delayed because I either cannot see or want to scratch my eyeballs out. Sunshine finished Kindergarten so I want to write about that because she is such a light & I've learned so much about trusting the Lord & Little Miss Red has kept be laughing & thinking hard so like I said...so much to write about. I'll have to fill you in at a later time.

When I can't write I have constant verbal monologue &, at times, dialogue within myself. Not always silent either, so if you see me at Publix deep in thought & conversation in the bread aisle it's not what you think.

I'm sure your eyes are itching right now because I said the pink-eye word. This case of conjunctivitis is brought to you by my loving husband, who suffered from a cold recently, got THE pink-eye & shared it with me.  Yeah, we are one of those type of couples....share everything. I began antibiotic drops right away.

Yesterday was the beginning of the worst. It made Bob Costas Olympic showing look like baby stuff.  I had been up through the night each hour the night before. Not just lifting my head off the pillow, but UP, OUT OF THE BED. I woke up & my eyes wouldn't open, finally they opened to little slits & the rest was swollen...swollen above my eyes & under my eyes. I looked exactly like the Muppet "Lips", the trumpet player, from "Dr. Teeth & The Electric Mayhem", with the exception of his hair looking much better than mine. & I NEVER exaggerate! NEVER, EVER!

So, I hinted to my husband that I needed him to stay home from work. I said stuff like:  I should go to the doctor, that I should probably not drive, that it will be difficult to take care of the children with partial vision (& hair like a muppet)
I finally had to say to him "I'm hinting at you" to which he replied "Don't hint, tell me." Which you would think after 11 years we would have this one figured out, but not that day. So, my husband stayed home. You know, he was still sick anyway, and needed to go to his doctor. I was doing him a HUGE favor.

 I got an appointment with my opthamologist, because I was sure I could be healed quickly even though Bob Costas had to bow out of the Olympic coverage because of it. I still had things to do. I had 2 small children & summer had just begun.  Craig made an appointment with his primary care doctor, and a one of my unsung super hero mommy friends offered to take the kids swimming.

This is the deal...life gets stressful, it gets hard, plans are thrown a curve, & I am thankful & blessed. Though we have no family in the area, God has blessed us with friends that are more like family. They come to our rescue, we take care of one another's children, we listen to one anothers heartaches, challenges, hopes, joys, & blessings. We eat chicken salad together, & take the kids for sno-cones. We pray for one another, We study the Scriptures together. We cry with and for one another, & we laugh with one another. I couldn't do it without these mommies, these families, their children in my life. We share life.  This is another reason why I love my minivan & always carry an extra car seat...We always have room to help. AND that's what I want my girls to learn. We don't have a ton of money, we don't have a ton of extra time, our house is not the biggest,  but we have us....it takes very little to go out of our way to help others. If we can help you, we will. If we can't we will try to figure out a way for it to work out.

Back to yesterday. Craig goes off to his doctor, gets a shot in his bum (but he says it was his hip) & a prescription for some real medicine to help his cold...the cold that has been going on for a week that he kept ignoring. I kept asking him to rest, he kept saying "I'll rest when I'm dead", that may be sooner than you think if you don't rest now, Buddy. I should have gone into medicine just for my bedside manner!

We head to my doctor, who has given me specific directions. "Come at 11 O'clock on the dot. Do not touch anything!".

I see my doctor, who tells me it's viral & if they couldn't help Bob Costas they can't help me. Why does everyone keep bringing up Bob Costas?

OK, I get it, I have to wait it out. You might be wondering how I can type this at all. Well, first of all, it's just me here today. Some more Super Hero Moms have swept in with their capes flying in the wind & have taken my girls to the science center. Craig is off to work. I woke up with looking a little less like "Lips". My vision right now is blurry, so I hope the typos are not to0 bad. The pain & irritation comes & go.  Sometimes I'm flailing around like  a T-Rex trying to eat an ice cream cone, & other times I am able to drive to Walmart at night & walk around with my sunglasses on, because I'm cool like that. I still get recognized by other mommies who have escaped gone off to shop once their husbands come home. I used to think only zombies came out at night, but it's mommies with babies home too.

                                         This is me at Walmart at night...
                              Just in case you see me & want to say "Hello"

All right,  perspective...first off I am thankful for my sight, for the way God made me. Having to lay in my bed for periods of time with cold compress on my eyes has given me sight to see how much I appreciate my vision. My condition is irritating, not life or sight threatening. It has caused me to lay still & make me think of all I see, all I have...I am thankful for my husband who takes care of me, who loves me, who may not take a hint, but will take a hit when it comes to taking care of his family. I am thankful for this group of women, mommies, friends, that God has given to us. I am blessed to share motherhood...life with them.
And of course My Sunshine & Little Miss Red. I love them...I miss them...I haven't hugged them in 3 days because I don't want them to catch this. I sit across the room from them. I tell them to give themselves a big hug from me...and they do the same.
For me these are "the saints in the land" Psalm 16

Soon I'll be able to write all the other posts about end of school, summer, the laughter and the tears, but right now God is saying, "Rest, think, settle down, appreciate what I have given you. SEE that I am good!"

These are the 2 passages that have come to mind lately:

Psalm 34:8
Oh, Taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

Psalm 16 1-3, 5-11
Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge, I say to the Lord, "You are my Lord: I have no good apart from you." 
As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight,...
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. 
I bless the LORD who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. 
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. 
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. 

I'd like to thank the Little People in my life...

So it's 4pm & I'm already sneaking shots of Diet Coke in the kitchen. Second blog entry & I've already hit rock bottom. You see, when I started this blog a mere 3 days ago I wanted to keep things positive. The truth is I love my husband, my children are a gift, & I feel extremely blessed.  But today has been one of those days.   No one wants to read about the junk, the mundane, the threats of sending my children to boarding school where there is NO Chick-Fil-A (or parents)

It's hard to admit those days exist. Sure there are lots of books out there that tell you kids will drive you crazy, but what about when it feels like every piece of your sanity has been chipped away by someone under 3 feet tall. 

I talked to one of my sweet friends yesterday who was telling about a rough day & she whispered "Don't tell this to another soul, but sometimes I don't like my children." Oh sister I know the feeling, & I won't tell a soul.  This woman LOVES her children. She does Bible study in carpool. Her words encouraged me in knowing, I am not alone. Motherhood can be so isolating at times. So very thankful for the friends God has given me to share motherhood with. I am truly blessed.
God has made my children in His image & they are their own person. . I stopped trying to figure them completely out & spend more time asking the Lord to make me into the mother that my girls need.

My two girls are one of my biggest smile makers, big sources of joy & satisfaction.
My oldest, Sunshine, is my sweet, smart, thoughtful, adventurous, 6 year old girl. She loves others & is generally kind. Then there are those moments that remind us all that we need a Redeemer as she pushes her little sister as she walks by for no reason.
My youngest, Little Red,  is my 5 year old. She has  gorgeous red hair with curls that literally stops people in their tracks to point her out to others. I plan on writing an entire post about "the draw of a red-head" another day. Little Red is funny, smart, spunky, an instigator & keeps us on our toes with her questions & running commentary on various subjects such as Princesses, shoes, & what Heaven will be like.
It's a HUGE task! I'm thankful for grace in the parenting, but also know I must be intentional because the time slips away so quickly.
I remember having the realization about being home with my kids that the days were long, but the weeks, months, years fly by. It put things in perspective for me. It was such a true statement that I thought I was the first one to realize it...but apparently I wasn't. I've now read it and heard it said by many moms...unless of course they've ALL heard me say it....hmmmmmm.
Anyway, It's day by day here, moment by moment.
Thank you Lord for the "little people" you have entrusted me with.
Now hold on while I pour another diet coke..

"Take Two...er, um, make that "Take 342! ACTION!"

My last blog originated in 2011 & consists of 3 posts total. It was all I could ever seem to sit down & write when my kids were 2 & 3 years old. Unless it was a Facebook status..& yes, I have tons of those. I wonder if I'm the only one who prints out statuses & shoves them in baby books each year.
Anyway, one of the posts has to do with the fears of looking at an unscheduled summer, one is about my child believing she could fly with her fairy wings on & the final one is titled  "Mommy's taken up drinking" as I approached potty training boot camp. So if you want to read my complete blogging history, perhaps you are waiting until your fingernails dry,  you can carefully navigate your way over there.......
http://mommyhatrack.blogspot.com/
So...here I am at a 2nd  or maybe 3rd, or perhaps a higher number than I'm willing to admit attempt at a blog. I'm hoping to be more of a faithful writer because there are so many wonderful blogs I enjoy reading. The truth is, I feel like I haven't had a complete thought since 2007. I know I'm not alone. It has taken me over an hour just to write what I have here...
So many have encouraged me to blog, so here I am....giving it a go...